The Start of "Our Adoption Story"

When Ryan and I were first married in August 2001 we talked about one day raising a family. Ryan wanted 4 kids and I wanted between 4 and 6. I was the girl that always said, I will have a big family and be the mom of twins. I LOVED children and knew I wanted lots to love, hold and care for.
In 2003, once Ryan finished Chiropractic school, we began the process of "trying" to get pregnant. Yes, it was a process, a process that continued to get more frustrating and complicated. After 6 months of "trying" with no result I began to notice things with my body that were just not right. I made an appointment with and infertility OB and continued on with the journey. He put me on birth control to try and "regulate" my cycle for a couple months. Once my cycle was "somewhat" regulated I started on clomid to try and increase ovulation. After MANY ultrasounds and a couple months of "trying" nothing was happening. The pain in my abdomen was getting worse and I was getting more frustrated. The doctor continued to try his best and started giving me shots of progesterone, monthy ultrasounds (a few a month...yuck!!), and started me on femara. Femara is another "infertility" drug that helps with ovulation. We tried that for a couple months and still nothing. I was confused. I didn't know why I could not get pregnant. Isn't this what we are here to do...multiply and replenish the earth? The questions were coming, the frustration was building and this was starting to become quite the rollercoaster. Every month waiting to see if my cycle started...thinking, could this month be it....asking myself, am I having pain because I am pregnant?....Are these headaches because my body is crazy with hormones because I am pregnant?.....on and on, every month it was horrible and SO difficult. I would hide a lot. I would sit in the bathroom and cry if the pregnancy test was negative then quickly get in the shower before Ryan saw, because I didn't want him to think I was weak. It was SO hard! Ryan was the MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND EVER!!! I am SO blessed to have such an amazing husband, that worries about me, cares about me, doesn't like to see me sad and LOVES me more than anything.
After a year and a half of this we began to think of other options. Should we go and do all the "big" infertility; meaning, in-vitro or intra-uterine insemination. We didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't get pregnant and I didn't know what to do. I had such a love for children and couldn't understand why I was going through what I was. Ryan and I did LOTS of talking about our options and what we thought was best for us. We began to look into adoption. I knew quite a few children that were adopted and it was a great experience for all of them. After much prayer and thought Ryan and I made the call to LDS Family services (our adoption agency through our church). We spoke with them and told them we were interested in becoming certified adoptive parents. The process was LONG. There was LOTS of paperwork to be done, workshops to attend, interviews and clearances we had to pass. It took us 4 months to get everything done and to become "official" adoptive parents. After that came the "waiting" period. We had put our profile up on itsaboutlove.org and knew this process was long and that we could be waiting about 6 months before we are even contacted or looked at by a birthmother. LDS Family Services cannot control the length of time we are on the website, it is up to the birthmothers that look at all the profiles. The birthmother's go on the website and look at hundreds of profiles and can choose anyone who they see fit for what they are looking for in parents for their child. It was all out of our hands and knew that if it was meant to be it would happen.
Although we put our profile up on LDS Family Services it didn't stop us from trying. We continued to try and knew that we also had "other" options. We were certified in October 2005 and a couple months had gone by. My doctor started to give me the news that I had endometriosis and that it was probably time I had surgery. That was not what I wanted to hear, so I took the information, went home and talked with Ryan about my options. Since it was coming to the end of the year we decided to wait till the beginning of the year and go ahead and do surgery. We continued on and started to prepare for the Holidays.